


Good for the Gander

by ETraytin



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Silly, but I had a good time, now i want to cross untitled goose game into every fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-22 05:44:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20869142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETraytin/pseuds/ETraytin
Summary: Buffy is out on patrol when she runs into an unexpected (and loud!) interloper. A brief and silly crossover.





	Good for the Gander

**Author's Note:**

> Today my nine year old son TheWhysGuy and I went to Starbucks to work on our writing projects. Instead we started spitballing about crossover fanfictions, a discussion that culminated in this thing right here! If you enjoy reading it half as much as we enjoyed making it, it will be a great success! And hey, this is his first collaboration, so leave a comment for him if you like it.

“Ouch! Hey!” Buffy stumbled as something tugged at her foot, almost hitting her head on a gravestone on the way down. Tucking and rolling, she came up and stared at her traitorous feet. “Why is my shoe untied?”

“Better luck for me!” crowed the vampire she was fighting. He was a total newbie, dirt from his grave still clinging to hit pant legs, but he had enough game to give Buffy a workout. Way too much confidence, though. While he was still looming menacingly, she nipped up and kicked off her shoes, hitting him neatly between the eyes with one. “Ow!”

“Ain't that a kick in the head?” Buffy asked sweetly, squaring up to fight again. They traded a flurry of blows, Buffy allowing him closer than she needed to, strictly for the practice. A girl had to stay in shape, even if the vampires were weak and flabby. Finally, though, she got bored and went to grab her stake.

Her hand groped air. “What the heck?” She stepped back and checked her holster. Empty! “Where's my stake?” Giving the vampire an absent backhand that sent him reeling, she looked around in the grass. Footprints, broken sticks... white feathers?

“HONK!”

Buffy nearly jumped out of her skin at the loud noise, spinning to face this new assailant. A large white goose stood behind her, its wings spread aggressively. At its feet... “You stole my stake!” Buffy accused it. The goose looked smug. “Give it back!”

She took a few steps forward, intending to grab her stake and finish the vampire behind her. Instead, the goose snatched the stake and began waddling off, surprisingly quickly for such an ungainly thing. “Hey!” Buffy began to chase it.

“Hey!” yelled the vampire. “Come back here! I'm not done eating you!”

“Give me a break!” Buffy yelled over her shoulder. “You're vacuum-chow as soon as I get my- no, not in the pond!”

The goose had made its way to the large ornamental pond in the center of the cemetery. It stood still for a moment, watching as Buffy ran towards it. Then, with great deliberation, it opened its beak, dropping the stake into the dark water. It honked in triumph.

“Oh, come on!” Buffy groaned. “Do I not have enough problems?” The vampire caught up to her then, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her to try for a bite. She punched him again, and the fight was back on. Fighting a vampire without a stake wasn't impossible for a slayer, but it was definitely annoying. She was going to have to get the vamp down long enough to pull off its head or dig out its heart, both of which were messy prospects and would probably ruin her cute outfit.

The grass near the pond was wet, making her bare feet slide as they fought. The vampire noticed that and gave her a shove, sending them both tumbling down the little embankment near the shore. He came up on top, his malicious grin showing way too many teeth as he bent down.... and disappeared into a cloud of dust.

“HONK!” announced the goose, dropping the branch it had clutched in its beak. It marched around on the dusty grass, flapping its wings in triumph and honking like an LA freeway at rush hour.

Buffy sat up and rubbed her elbow, looking ruefully at the creature. “Thanks, I guess.” she told it. “Though I could've done that on my own if you hadn't decided to get in the way.”

The goose gave her a disdainful look and waddled off. Buffy rolled her eyes and collected herself, then limped back across the cemetery. “Hey, where's my shoe?”


End file.
